Stop chewing on food while talking on the phone.

I was going to post a serious post today, but my biggest pet peeve reared its ugly head today again at work. People eating while talking to you on the phone. Its pretty much like shitting while you are the phone but noisier and much more rude. I mean really how hard is it to down the god damn bag of potato chips for 5 minutes while you tell me what you want in your ad. Will you wither away and die if you don't constantly eat every waking moment of your life? If that is the case then type me an email because I don't want to listen to you chew your cud while you talk about how you want to sell your dog skippy.

Hell your dog is more sophisticated then you are. Do you ever see your pet dog bark at you with half a t-bone sticking out of its mouth? Personally I have never seen my dog do that. You know what she does? She puts the god damn bone down then barks. Maybe you should follow your dogs lead.

Maybe this how the country is becoming so obese is that we have rearranged our prorities of chewing on random shit over being polite. Fuck if you put down the side of ribs while on the phone you might actually have time to digest some stuff and become full and maybe not want to eat anymore. Yea I seriously don't want to listen to you masticate while on the phone with me. It pisses me off and then I have to write shit like this because of your narcissistic thought process of me, my fat ass, my Ruffles, my Diet Coke, and my ad.

Yea I know it may be lunch time at the office, but it doesn't mean you have to share it with me. I just want to write down the phone numbers of all these people that pull this shit and then go get a big bowl of cereal and start chomping away and call them back. Then when they get all pissed off because I am eating food in their ear then I can say, "Yea bitch now you know how it feels." and then I would hang up the phone. Or maybe whenever someone calls me while they are eating I can just turn a recording of someone eating food in the background and turn it way up and when they ask about it I can tell them, "Oh it must be the echo from your phone." Probably a great way to make them feel like a jackass.

So seriously if you are an eater while on the phone, you can just fuck off, seriously. Put the Hagen Daz down and have a conversation or get the fuck off the phone.