I must go to Borders

Yesterday was an odd day. Well odd in the sense that normally I just drive straight home after work and take care of my pets then sit around playing video games or watching a movie or reading. Not yesterday though! My best friend asked me before I am leaving if I would like to go hang out and play video games because his girlfriend won't be home tonight and he is free to do as he pleases. He even had 2 new video games that I was informed I absolutely needed to check out. Knowing my love of new video games he thought he had me hooked at that moment. I mean really who can resist the call of picking up a controller and hacking away at some bad guys with your buddies all while downing a couple of beers.

Well it seems my addled brain was confused that day and I just had to go to Borders. I informed him of this plan and he looked at me like the government had taken me prisoner the night before tortured me then brain washed me and sent me on my way. Then came the plea of well this is the first time in a while that my girlfriend won't be there and we have time to kill bad guys without the exasperated pleas from her explaining that we should pay attention to her.

I guess here is where I should talk about his girlfriend a bit. When she is the whining mood I like to think of her like a dingo trying to eat babies and I must fend her off with humor and shiny objects. I guess that is why I would prefer to carry a bottle of glitter when ever I go and visit him because glitter is like the herpes of the crafts world, you can never get rid of it. So when she goes into these epileptic seizures of whining I can say something crazy and throw some glitter in an area so she will pounce on it like a wild cheetah. This usually keeps her occupied long enough for me to get out of there and save myself.

So with excuse made I am off to go to Borders. Mind you I have no clue what I want to do at Borders, just that it is programmed into my brain at this point. This of course made me think that I could be a robot and something happened over the night to not make me want to do things I love to do. This actually could have happened as well since I did lose a chunk of time recently and there was always that fear.

So I arrive at Borders not knowing what to do, but surrounded by books. At this point I think well lets mess with some people. The thought then comes that I should just choose an aisle and start reading the first page of every book in the aisle until someone who works there comes and asks if I need any help. Then when that person shows up to ask I will then tell them that they need to go to the other end of the aisle and start reading the first pages of each book on that end and tell me what happens so that I can save myself some time because I don't want to be there all night. It would be even better if I could convince multiple employees to do this for me and then I could be out of there in about 2 hours and know the first page of each book in the aisle. Then I got to thinking about my next trip to Borders and what would I do then. Do I just come in and start on the second page of the same aisle that I was in the last time or do I move on to a new aisle and continue with page 1's only.

Fortunately I ran into a couple of friends there. They were wondering what my plans were while I was there and I informed them. Then the dreaded question came about of what aisle I would start in. I had to think for a moment and then just saw the nearest sign and blurted that out because I had no real clue and I am fairly lazy. Unfortunately that sign was Romance. This elicited a bit of a chuckle from them with the question of why Romance. "Well I'm lazy and that is the closest aisle" was all I could come up with.

Then I got to thinking and what better way for something humorous then to make employees read the first pages of Romance novels and inform me what they said. I mean what if something really raunchy was on that first page. They would have to inform me of that stuff and it would be really awkward for them.

All these thoughts go racing through my head then as I start to roam now within the store. I start thinking that my evil plan is finally coming about and I will implement it shortly. This was not to be because the ADD side of me started to take over and I ended up seeing a book that looked interesting. This prompted me to grab it off the shelf and go find a chair to sit in and skim the book for about 15 minutes until the need to wander arose again. A pattern like this ended up going on for around an hour until I finally got bored and went home.

Now really at this point if you were thinking there is a point to this story....there isn't. I just do weird things at weird times.