New bank idea

With all of the renewed interest in religion from the possibility of a "Mosque" being placed 2 blocks from the remains of the Twin Towers I figured now would be a good time to cash in. Specifically I would be cashing in with my new bank called Jesus Saves National Bank.



I mean really can this idea go wrong. It combines the things people in this country have an unhealthy love for, money and religion. Not only do we promote Jesus but we promote saving which may help with all the overspending in this country. Hell we could even hold church services on the premise on Sundays since banks are never open on those days. Honestly we are getting a 2 for one here and utilizing the space to the maximum use. Who wouldn't want to have church service in a bank. I could see it now, Bill Gates sitting side by side with Steve Jobs talking about their love of religion and money.

The checking accounts could have 3 different tiers, The Son, The Father, and The Holy Ghost. The Son could be that free liberty account that all the banks have that just require at least $10 in it. The Father could be the account with like .5% interest attached to it and require at least $1000 dollars. The Holy Ghost could get the high end treatment of requiring $10,000 in it at all times and give CD rates for savings on it.

And with all the controversy over this "Mosque" we could just place this starter project 1 block away from the remnants of the Twin Towers. That will be sure to piss those Muslims off because we one upped their asses. Who's the winner now......America cause we are bat shit insane so suck on that!

Crazy people at the bars in Des Moines

So I decided to go on vacation in Des Moines so I could see a Phoenix concert. The concert was amazing, but the after concert bar fun was a bit odd to say the least.

After the concert I met up with my friends and we went to the bar on the second floor of the building we were in. Things were going great and it was quiet in there to begin with and I started off with a couple of drinks. Unfortunately my friends had to drive back to the Quad Cities that night so they left me to hang out and relax for a while. I shuffled my way up to the bar and ordered another Captain and coke and watched some TV. About 15 minutes after I sat down though some guy walks in and buys a couple of packs of smokes from the bartender and then orders a couple of shots and introduces himself to me. He hands me a shot, which is just weird for me since I wasn't expecting to talk to much of anyone while there. He ends up asking me a few questions and we start talking about random junk. It comes up that I know some Japanese so I end up teaching him how to say shut up in Japanese. He also asks about my hat. I mention that it is 12 years old and he asks if he can see my hat. He then proceeds to sniff the inside of my hat and asks if I have washed it in the 12 years I have owned it. This is a really creepy question to say the least. At this point I have to start figuring out a way out of this situation because what normal person goes around sniffing peoples hats. To make matters worse he asks if I like to party........Yea umm no thanks I think I can skip out on hanging with super creepy guy and his druggy friends. I believe this is how various horror films start and I wasn't planning on dealing with crazy people. Finally he heads on out and I am now back in my peaceful situation listening to the music in the bar and enjoying another Captain and coke.

Next on the list of odd people in a bar to meet was the really really drunk guy. His name was Nate and his slurring was so bad that I could not understand hardly a word he said. To top it off he was just carrying around a pitcher of beer. Apparently he also wanted to be my new friend. After the last run in with creepy dude #1 I was not going to be having any of this and told him I had to go. I quickly went to go see if it was fine to leave but it was now pouring outside and this was not going to happen because walking 5 blocks with sheets of rain coming down is less pleasant then being in a room with creepy drunk guy. So I sat back down and got a Bud Light and listened to some more music.

Nate unfortunately found a new victim to cling to. Her name was Brittany and she had a look of distress and I had the knowledge of this being super bad because this guy wasn't giving up on her. So I made my move to go sit next to her and talk to her asking if she needed help with good old Nate. There was an emphatic yes and I decided to start up a conversation with her to let Nate know she was distracted. This did not stop Nate from trying to work his mojo though. She was putting up with him for the time being though because she was finishing off his pitcher of beer for him. I ended up finding out she told her friends she didn't even want to go to the bar she was at, but they drug her there anyways.Then they ditched her to deal with Nate. Obviously some awesome friends. So I ended up hanging out and deflecting Nate from her for about an hour till the bar closed.

Nate was way out of it at this point and had no clue what was going on. He ended up grabbing some guys drink off the bar and started to drink it, which prompted the guy to come over and confront Nate. At this point we tried to get information from Nate about how he was getting home and how he got there. He mumbled something about a bike so we asked if it was a motorcycle or a bike. He had no clue what we were talking about though and kept asking if Brittany wanted to go home with him. Finally one of the owners comes over and lets us know he was taking Nate out and putting him in a cab. I had a feeling though he was just throwing him out. The other guy that confronted Nate yells at him that he had better put the guy in cab and not just tossed him out. He said that he had. I highly doubted that. I head on out with Brittany and we say our goodbyes at the door and I just end up hanging out with some Phoenix fans who were waiting for them to come out of the bars.

I end up talking to some of the guys who moved all of the bands stuff to the trailer attached to the back of the bus. They were just pissed that there were no drugs around town at the time. I guess I should have introduced them to the creepy guy I had met earlier because he must have had some. These guys were pretty cool though. Phoenix finally came out and all but the drummer ignored the people hanging outside waiting for them. He signed a couple things for people and chatted for a little bit while the rest of the band head to the bus. He ended up being a pretty nice guy overall. Finally I decide its time to head to my friends place where I am crashing.

I get there and she gave me a house key to get in. It must have been a brand new key because it was not turning in the lock. I ended up spending 10 minutes outside the door and even left a message that I would probably be crashing in my car cause the key didn't work. Finally I get the key to turn and manage to get in at 2:30 in the morning. What a crazy night.

3 wheeled motorbike?

Lately I have been seeing this guy riding around town on a motorbike but it has 3 wheels. 2 in the front and 1 in the back, sort of like a reversed big wheel. Every time I see this monstrosity of a bike all I can do is snicker to myself because I am sure he thinks he looks bad ass on this thing.

The bike itself is yellow with flames coming off the front of it and it's ridden by a 50 year old man. He even likes to ride around like he is a biker with the whole sleeves cut off his t-shirt and sometimes with the bandanna and the aviator shades. This is the most ridiculous site because how can one look bad ass when they are riding a reversed big wheel.

I honestly think he should just give it up and put one of those children's bike horns on the front with streamers off the handles. That would be a ton more appropriate then the stuff he wears and the flames on the bike. Hell a pocket protector would probably be more of his style with a bike like that. He will never be as hard core as the guys that ride real motorcycles and he should probably start realizing that fact now rather then later.

Another stupid vehicle that I saw today on my way to Whitey's for some ice cream was a souped up 4 wheeler at a vehicle shop. The 4 wheeler had 20 inch rims on it. Who the hell puts 20 inch car rims on a 4 wheeler? Are they just stupid as hell? Do you plan on rolling around town on your pimped out 4 wheeler trolling for women? I honestly think the only thing that is going to happen is that people are going to laugh at you for putting 20 inch rims on a 4 wheeler. I think doing something stupid like that would rank right up there with lowering the suspension on a Yugo and pimping it out. Maybe next we could pimp a Gremlin out with a $10,000 dollar speaker system and call it a day.