Male Territorialism

As many people know men can be very territorial. We like to claim things as places of our own and then keep others away from those places when we are around. Basically its the equivalent of a 2 year olds "Mine" phase except men never leave this phase.....ever. We walk around pick up a book or a pen and are now like "Mine!" This now means we must defend this object from other men who would also like to make that object theirs.

If you have ever wondered why a male throws a fit when you move or hide something of theirs it is because of this feeling of "Mine!" You touched their object and now they have to go through the process of declaring it as theirs again within their brain because you have sullied the aura of the object. This reason is also the why men get so grumpy about the touching and moving of objects because it involves the long drawn out process of making sure there has been nothing weird done to the object, checking for signs that another male hasn't claimed this object while we were gone, and then wiring our brain again to place the object in its new proper home because it was not safe where it was previously.

Of course this process is a little bit different for living things such as your girlfriend or you dog. For a man a dog is a bit easier to deal with in terms of the "Mine" strategy because we can train them to listen to our commands and have them be loyal to us. This is exhausting work for a male because it requires many hours of work with the dog until it realizes we are the Alpha male and they need to listen to everything we say. Eventually we get to this point and we now have a loyal dog that is ours and will help protect other things that are ours. This is probably also the reason why we like to name our dogs Kujo, Spike, or Killer. It lets people know we aren't fucking around when it comes to defending our shit.

As for girlfriends there is a reason why men get extremely jealous and sometimes like to keep track of them. We like to mark them in other ways such as hickeys, the scent of our cologne, or just leaving something of note at their place. This lets other guys know that this is our territory and that they should not trespass on it. The whole women stealing our t-shirts to wear really was just a male ploy to mark our territory. Yes ladies its something we allowed because it makes our job easier. This is also the reason why if you break up with us or cheat on us we can get fairly grumpy and very childish. We are losing a piece of our territory and no male likes when their territory shrinks. The goal of a male is to have as much territory as possible, so much so that they can say all of the world is theirs. This is also why men will still flirt and look at other women a lot even when in a serious relationship. If it isn't theirs they must at least try and acquire it or leave a mark to ward off other males.

Territory for males also extends as an aura around us in public places. Anything in that aura is ours as well. This is why men do not go to the bathrooms in packs and also explains the urinal phenomena. For those who don't know urinal etiquette it goes like this. The first male into the bathroom gets the furthest urinal from the door. The next male gets the furthest urinal from the first male. Now here is where it can get tricky depending on how many urinals there are. If there are 5 urinals the 3rd male gets the middle most urinal from the other 2 males which leaves a buffer of 1 urinal from each male. This is proper territorial etiquette. If there are only 3 urinals then the 3rd male gets to be the bitch and has to use the toilet because it would break the buffer. For heavy crowding only is the buffer rule to be broken and that is to only speed up the process to get as many males out of the restroom as possible so that the buffer rule can be established again. The other rule that is sacred is no talking while at the urinals. Seriously no god damn talking until you have zipped up and walked to the sinks. This does not mean you get to talk to the guys at the urinal either because you are invading their territory and they may have to hurt you.

So that now that you have an idea that men are practically grown up 2 year olds you should be able to handle them in regard to their personal items or space.