Friday, July 23, 2010

Odd Classified ads I take

So for those who know me and read this blog you know I work for a newspaper taking classified ads from people all day long. Every now and then you get the crazy ads that you just wonder what the hell is going on. I have had a number of ads that just seem to stack up over time where I go what the hell was this person thinking.

Just today for example I took an ad from a lady for a lost turtle. I mean I have seen turtles, they aren't super fast and are fairly lazy. I mean you would need to not pay attention to the turtle for about 2 years for it to get away. What astounded me the most was that this was not the first time that she has lost this turtle. This was actually the second time in 4 years she has lost it. I guess the first time she found it and put it back into its spot and then must have forgotten to pay attention to it other then to feed it for another 4 years and it managed to shuffle away again. As one of the other ad reps said about turtles though which made me laugh was that "They're slow, but they're crafty." I guess this is how the concept of ninja turtle must have come about. Some person lost their pet turtle and found it hanging out with a couple of other turtles and a rat. They started thinking damn turtles are crafty they must have learned it from this rat.......OMG what if turtles are actually ninjas. And that is how the ninja turtles came about.

Another great ad I received the other day was full of misspellings and just made my day. The ad read exactly like this "1 mail cat 8 years old and has raibey shot and has been fixt and 1 F.M. cat 7 years old and is not fixt." This just made me laugh so hard when I got to thinking about this guy giving away these 2 awesome cats. I mean 1 works for the damn post office. Who wouldn't want a cat to bring them their mail. The other works for the radio station and could probably play all your favorite songs for you when you would like. With these 2 cats I would never have to check my mail again and always hear the best music. These 2 cats would be an unstoppable force of awesome.

Another one of my favorite ads is an ad for a skill saw that was sent to me. The ad read "Skilsaw, circular 5 1/2" blade used once by unhandy woman, $50." This just cracked me up. You could always take this 2 ways.....the one time she used it she lost her hand or she was just really inept with this tool. 1 is kind of gruesome and the other is just so funny because she is so afraid of it that she has to sell it.

Of course throughout the day we get tons of people who don't listen to a word we say when we answer the phone about being the classified department and that they want to cancel their paper or put it on hold, which is followed by us telling them we don't do that and transferring them. We also get a great caller who we call the laughing lady because she regularly calls and laughs while she tells us all about how much she hates the articles we run in our paper. Most of the time is about a picture of an African American or Cuban or about us calling this a recession. Apparently she is really racist, but finds it funny. Fortunately we have learned how to cut her off and send her downstairs to deal with customer service.

So pretty much this is the silly things I get to deal with on a regular basis.

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