Reasons why I might be a ninja

Many of my friends like to think of me as a ninja. It could be the fact that I like to wear black on a regular basis or that I have had some martial arts training or that I am obsessed with Japan or that I like to jump out of trees and scare the crap out of my unsuspecting victims. With this said I am not thoroughly convinced that I am completely a ninja. So this may take some scientific research to make this determination. I am going to start off with a questionnaire and see where that leads me.

Are you a ninja questionnaire:

1. Do you wear black on a regular basis?
Answer: Yes

2. Do you know martial arts?
Answer: Yes

3. Have you ever jumped out of a tree to scare and or maim someone?
Answer: Yes, but not the maiming because she would not have approved.

4. Do you own typical ninja weaponry such as throwing stars and swords?
Answer: Yes I own a sword

5. Have you ever flipped out and killed shit?
Answer: Yes, but only if you count killing flies because they anger me.

6. Do you have a severe hatred of pirates?
Answer: Not really. Pirates can be equally awesome. I mean I do have a liking for rum, but the whole scurvy and not bathing for long periods of time on a boat with lots of men kind of rubs me the wrong way. Maybe that is why ninjas hate pirates. Pirates = dirty, drunk, hang with men on a boat all the time. Ninjas = Assassinate people, hang with geisha, bathe on a regular basis. Ok so maybe I do have something against pirates....but I am stealing their rum damnit.

7. Do you know any famous ninjas?
Answer: No, what kind of question is this? They are god damn ninjas who flip out and kill shit and are stealthy. They don't want you to know who they are and if they knew that you knew who they were they would probably flip out and kill you.

Well that was a short questionnaire and I might actually be a ninja according to this little questionnaire. The whole jumping out of the tree question was fun too because well it comes with an interesting story and the reason I am now referred to as a ninja.



I was getting to know this girl who is now one of my good friends. I gave her a call one night at around 1 am to find out what was up. She was coming back from a concert and was about to be dropped off by her friends in about 5 minutes so I quickly rushed over to her house and climbed up into the tree in the front of her house and continued my phone conversation with her. I saw the car pulling up and said well I guess I should get going and hung up the phone. At this point I watched her get out of the car and talk to her friends for a bit and was snickering to myself because this was going to be epic. Finally after her 5 minute chat with her friends she turns and starts to walk to the front door of her house.

At this point I readied my cat like reflexes to jump from the branch I was crouching on and scare her. Be mindful her friends are still there watching her walk to her door and I have remained undetected like the ninja I am for this whole time. I pounce from the tree right behind her and do my war cry to throw her off. Fortunately her scream of surprise did not wake anyone and her 2 friends got a good laugh out of the whole event. She was too surprised as well to hit me so this worked to my advantage because I did not have to defend myself.